With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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