my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize