UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
