I showed him my bush... on skype.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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