sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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