Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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