shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist