Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
im calling her cock vulture from now on
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.