He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Man, jail baloney is awful.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
