But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
