i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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