my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
