I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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