just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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