u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
