We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
