sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she woke up with a sticky ear
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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