New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
