is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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