So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
