There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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