Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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