I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
