Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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