hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
then he tried to convert me to islam
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
