There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
