May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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