is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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