I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
