Im at strip club and am horny
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
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I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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