hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
