is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
