Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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