Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
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You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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