i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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