I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
