Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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