Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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