Fuck appropriateness.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
