Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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