Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
