i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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