I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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