Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
