idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My ATM looks so different sober.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
