I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
