No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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