I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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