i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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