he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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