I wish my penis had an off switch
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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