Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
