I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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