i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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