Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
