Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
