Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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