Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize