I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
