All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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