Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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