I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we're making bets on your personal life
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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