I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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