We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
