just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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