...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
